Being Home

Its already a new year, and its February like WOW.. Typical Time Speed.

I am now relaxing myself at home, my Kuching Home =)
Nothing smells better than the fresh air here, I am so happy to be home so basically i sleep i eat i play HARDCORE, which end up now i... don really dare to step up on a weighing scale. sad but happy XD

Being home makes me felt comfortable, why?
Firstly, my family. Who has always been my priority throughout my life. Its soooo goood to be with them again.

Secondly, i get to meet up some old time friends that somehow i haven't seen in months.

Thirdly, I get to have a space to my own. Not only a room for myself but also some freedom for me to have a space to do what. Sometimes i just sit and talk to myself. hahahahahhaha


One more week at home, then back to KL again =(
Nightmares.

But will be back home in 6 days after =P




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There is someone I think I shall find, someone worth the grab.

快乐时光的尾声

觉得大家都懂得我回来我的家乡——古晋

这城市也许没那么繁华， 没地方可去， 没地方好玩， 到处给人的印象只是一堆住在树上的人们的区域。可是我依然还是太爱这个地方了。果然啊 家是永远的温暖 。

混着混着， 两个礼拜快过了。后天就要回去那个地方了， 心里是多么的不舍， 但是还是得面对着残酷的现实。 只能说时间不够， 我还有很多事， 很多人没见到呢 。。。

今天感触了一下， 突然想要当起个部落客写写文章。有时候总觉得， 部落格这东西还蛮不错的。感觉上对我来说它就是个洞， 一个让我写下一堆莫名其妙人事物的洞， 一个让我抒发没办法在外面的世界抒发的情绪， 心情， 想法。也不需要太多人的关心，毕竟我的部落格并不是那么的曝光， 只有些知己才知道这儿的存在。

有时候当我不了解自己的时候， 可以稍微的在这里寻找些答案。

我自己倒是常在想， 我有什么是我想要抛开， 却始终还抛不开的？

我给自己举了三个可能，

一， 坚强

坚强有时候是一种扶持，脆弱依然存在， 只是当下它会成为你的扶梯， 让你站高一些去呼吸些空气， 让你生存下去。如果我有机会我并不想坚强， 我要的是依靠。

二，虚伪

这是我刚发现的自己。自己常会说些违背心里意愿的话。有时是敷衍， 有时是纯粹配合，但对我来说我真的很不喜欢这种方式与人相处。 能的话谁不想用真心去交流， 但是这世界就是那么复杂，有些人根本不值得用真心对待。


三，纠结

本身我是个喜欢宁静的人， 但是又喜欢生活中那忙碌热闹的气氛。我喜欢酸辣，但有时候却想要清淡。我的人生就是一直处在 选择的两边 纠结中。


还真是复杂， 唉。。

FAULT

Hi,
I don't know how to start this but i might say, I'm HAPPY =)

I'm going back home pretty soon and all i need to do now is to wait for that happy day to come as i already finished my finals teeheee. After coming to KL, i realized that there are so many difference with my life back then in Kuching. I mean literally, i get to wake up in my bed with air-con having my own bath room a few steps away and able to go downstairs read newspapers and discover what to eat for breakfast, LIFE.

Now, in KL, basically everyday without class i get to sleep till noon, which is skipping breakfast or probably lunch, have to queue for toilet for shower and yet no newspaper for the day cause nobody seems to care about the news though. Laptop will always be our best friend and tv is the another. I don't know what to call this life.

Today, i watched the Fault In Our Stars that i've missed due to my hectic schedule, like finallaaayyy.

Its been some time since my last romance movie, and i kinda like it. It might not be the happily ever after kind but it show no lesser love.

PAIN DEMANDS TO BE FELT

at least it quotes something that pictures life. reality kinda life..


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贪

Actually I wanted to write in in chinese however im using my phone to post this so, English is somehow better. I really hate the samsung chinese keyboard.

Greed, 
I wonder whyyyyy human can't get rid of greed?

I understand its a nature but it just irritates me.

Sometimes, when u saw something u like,
You would want to see more.
When finally u had a chance to see more, u want to know more, when you know more, you want to own more.

Same when it applies on a person.
When you saw someone you like, you would want to see more of him or her. Then you would want to know more.  When you knew more, you wished you owned him or her. But when u finally owned it.. you may end up wanting something else.

Expectations kills much more together with disappointments.  I duno it is right or wrong to live up with these expectations but of course when it pays back it will make you be on top of the world.
The other way round then *ouch*

Humans... sigh

The Contrast

Issue of the day:  Wealth

The contrast between rich and poor.

I know its feels like I'm writing an assignment but I'm not. It's just an issue that bothers me for so long that i can't find a bin to throw at.

Sometimes its jus so frustrating to realise you are living in a realistic world who looks through every value on you. 

When you're slightly rich, you will always have backup in your pocket. You will get your favourite food in order to satisfy yourself from the busy life of gaining money. You won't care about the price difference and will choose the one which brings u more convenient. You will buy all the stuff you need you want in order for happiness.

As conclusion, people judge you as a shopaholic. People judge you as someone who spent blindly with every cent you have. People judge you that you will never understand the poor.

They will never know, how much sweat you have used in order to get the money. They will never know the effort you tried to give your family a better life. They will never know once you are in the industry, the happiness you get is when you get something for yourself and your family, and money is needed for that.

They never look through the back scenes...

When u are poor, you save every cent u have in your pocket. You eat the less you can as long u can fill ur stomach to prevent gastric. You walk as much as you cn in order to save the few ringgit. You walk further to another supermarket to buy an item for just a few ringgit in different. You prevent to buy the stuff you're obsessed with because you know you won't die without it. 

As conclusion, people judge you as stingy. People judge you as someone who doesn't appreciate life and a person who never gives out anything to the people around you. 

They will never know,  how eager you want to save money for your family. How much you wanna help your parents to reduce their burden. How much you had offered to the people with things that is more to effort than money..... no one will ever see through the back story..

life is full of freakin dilemma ... fml